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I’m waiting for my charm to have been so overpowering that they make a move, I guess.

Or for us to go off somewhere alone, where something can happen.

Or if you are all those things, then, well, I’m so in awe that I need to make sure I tread carefully in order to make a good impression. Really not attracted or interested for various reasons and actively turned off by any moves made. Happens with many acquaintances, going out, online dates.

Specifically, the romantic prospects I meet fall into one of three categories: • Lame — Most common. I recognize this person is kind of cool and kind of cute.

Once I’ve found an opening, I try to charm the hell out of them.My target demographic was mostly just reasonably attractive men who were more confident than I was. But being noticed by someone who seemed as uncertain as I was? When a guy actually appeared invested in what I thought of him, that was like being lost on Mars. I chased the same thing in friends; I went for aloof, too-cool types and ignored anyone who was actually paying attention to me and listening closely.I wanted to be set at ease by someone else’s self-assured behavior. I wanted to follow people around, cracking jokes, inserting insights, launching into extended monologues occasionally.And he could tell; he’d get drunk sometimes and spout insecure (but true!) things about how I wanted to leave him to be with other people while I was still young. We laughed a lot, respected each other, and were so tender and kind with each other.

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