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Sure, she’ll have skin like a baby’s bottom, but is that a big enough reward for looking a bit like Rickman? Apparently, luxury brands have seen sales flourish thanks to a vogue for younger women tasking older men with buying their handbags and high fashion in exchange for the pleasure of their company. Though the jury’s out on that last one – what average 32-year-old would want to date a man old enough to be her father unless she was getting a healthy amount of new season Prada out of it? Woke 35-year olds probably need no advice that dating anyone younger than your baby sister is weird. That said, as all of us who despaired at his Leave campaign lies knows, he’s always played fast and loose when it comes to numbers.

There’s an age-old rule that an acceptable age to date is half your own plus seven. It’s the Johnsons of the world that need reminders that anyone under 30 probably has enough on their plate, what with the pressure of a lifetime of renting and the impending doom of Brexit to have time to bat away riled up old guys.

The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible.

People raise their eyebrows at relationships with a significant age gap: If you’re the older guy, you’re creepy and exploitative; if you’re the older woman, you’re both of those things plus delusional about your shelf life.

He refused to come to my apartment (I had several thousand roommates), so we’d always hang at his place. and then feel like I owe you a blow job as payback for the guacamole. When the Older Man and I eventually ended it, I chalked it up to the age gap.

And yet, it’s not an accident that the teacher is a sexual archetype: Power, and the transmission of knowledge, are inherently erotic.

But there’s also an undeniable eroticism to youth (duh), hence why the schoolgirl/boy gets its own chapter in the book of pervy cliches.

We were also both newly into BDSM, which realistically was a more significant point of connection than I’d had with most of my age-appropriate exes. In your mid-20s, dating your peers can be harrowing—you’re drowning in a sea of street falafel, mezzanine beds, and entry-level head.

So when you meet someone who has clean towels in their bathroom and, like, a , it’s intoxicating.

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