Dating when you are a single mom
I once crammed four dates with different men into two days, but as my ability to pick interesting and nice men online seemed to be rather lacking, having four bad dates in two days was just too depressing to repeat. But I still think I deserve someone really special.
Although I had no intention of introducing any of these casual dates to my son, the fact I am a parent did make me feel differently about whom I was choosing to spend time with. I’m sure anyone who has tried online dating has come across the married people, or the guys who are actually a foot shorter, 10 years older and 3st heavier than their profile suggests.
Some friends have implied that as I’m also approaching 40, I shouldn’t be worried about sex or physical attraction.
But I refuse to accept that companionship is all I have to look forward to, even at the ‘advanced’ age of 38.
In fact, I know I will meet someone special one day.
Someone who understands that being a mum will always come first, but that I also want and deserve an exciting social and sex life as much as anyone who doesn’t have kids.
I’ve been flying solo since my divorce a few years ago, not long after my son Josh*, now five, was born. I was in my early 30s, single for the first time in 10 years and, after the trauma of a failed marriage, was keen to go out, have some fun and meet new people.
And, of course, the only way to find guys if you’re at home every night while your child is asleep is online dating.
It might sound harsh to ditch someone because they’re happy simply cuddling on the sofa once a week, but as a single mum, my free time when I can actually leave the house is precious, and I certainly didn’t want to waste it watching telly with Tom.
And while I obviously ditched the dating sites while I was seeing Jack, I’m now on the verge of reactivating my profiles.
However, that initial burst of optimism has worn off – is it really worth dipping my toe in the water again?
I’m not sure what a man is his late 30s was expecting, but I sincerely doubt he’s found it yet.
Then there was the guy who wouldn’t accept that I’m only free every other weekend and wanted to come round to my house once my son was asleep.