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And remember: you’re not just trying to time to meet up. Are they genuinely into you, or just responding to the attention? It’s also important not to misrepresent yourself for if (and when) you meet up with someone.

Getting past the pleasantries and straight into a real exchange is the best way to figure out if they’re interested and you should be interested. As Jack Donaghy once told Liz Lemon: Be open, confident, and positive.

The second act is getting to the kind of fun, playful exchange that allows you to share some kind of emotional connection with the other person.But, you're also one message in a clogged inbox on a single app on this person's phone. Use one of these, and you'll be set apart from the crowd like the cool, unique, shining star you actually are.Who knows how many messages they get, or how many apps they're on? It could be as simple as a shared passion, but that spark is what’s going to get you face-to-face with someone.Notice we didn’t say, “a connection,” because these things can’t be engineered (despite the advice of an industry of dating advice and pickup artists). You can, however, give yourself the best possible chance of a genuine connection by being generous with your personality and interests (more on that below), being playful right out of the gate, and being vulnerable when it’s appropriate.

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