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Rabbi Shmuley Boteach wrote an article back in 2008, “How to Fix Orthodox Jewish Dating” declaring, “The religious Jewish dating scene is severely broken.” The article might have been written in 2018 because it is still broken.
If she’s not a mother, she’s nobody.” While Orthodox journalist Yossi Krausz claims that single women, “Basically, from the perspective of the community, they don’t really exist.” Maayan Jaffe-Hoffman noted in her article, “Jewish Singles are People,” too that “many singles feel isolated from and stigmatized by the Jewish community,” while many receive “second-class treatment by matchmakers.” Jaffe-Hoffman indicates, “Singles in general say they feel ill-judged by their communities simply for not being married.” Women are often blamed for their singledom, accusing that “women are not trying hard enough, not religious enough (or too religious), not pretty enough, are too fat or too picky.” Although not as drastic in the Modern Orthodox world, the Jewish community, in general, relies on the community of married families with children.
When you are older, you have a mind of your own, a career, hobbies, distinct likes and dislikes, a view of your future, and you want someone who appreciates the same things or at least respects them.
I know I do not want to trade my life for a man and lose myself in the process.
Sometimes I think I should’ve picked someone when I was 25 and stupid, and then just made it work.” Unfortunately, in this modern age, most of the men at least I have encountered and observed want the women to adopt their interests and are not do not care about the women’s, they go on and on about themselves.
When you are younger, it is easier to comply and just go with the men’s interests, because you are still exploring what you want.